Missing you...

Dear Jasmin,

Hi baby! I am missing you terribly. I can’t help thinking about you now that I resumed working. Well, I know you’re in good hands with your grandma, it’s just that I want to be with you all the time. I want to take care of you. I want to see your developments, I want to be there to see your first turn over or hear your first word. I felt so blessed and at the same time so emotional when you laugh out loud the first time. I cried. It was one of the most joyful feeling I had in my life…hearing you laugh. Yes, I will admit that I am feeling so tired and sleepy, you see, I haven’t had a good, uninterrupted sleep since you were born. But hey, it’s perfectly fine with me, as long as you are with me, good and healthy, secure and warm. I don’t care if I have to watch you every night just to be sure that you’re breathing normally or you’re fed at the right time. And baby, because you were a preemie, my heart pounds every time I hear you cry with discomfort. You know, I’ve come to read between your cries and distinguish if you’re hungry, you’re irritated, or there’s something wrong. I always fear hearing your “there’s something wrong” cry. If only I have magic to know what is specifically bothering you, but I don’t…so I’ll just have to do everything I could to make you feel comfortable…and I hope I am able to make you feel such…

I never imagined motherhood to change me so much. Then, whenever I’d hear or read stories about how wonderful it is to be a mom, I’d just nod and think that they were just over acting…now I am so ashamed for simply entertaining that thought. Indeed, nothing can compare with the joy, happiness and completeness motherhood can give. I am so happy having my daughter. I am so blessed having you, Anika Jasmin!


Love,

Mommy