Bakit nga ba?

Bakit nga ba ang tao ang hilig mag-expect?
Ayan tuloy, ‘pag hindi na-meet ang expectations todo emote naman.
Cry me a river ang drama. The truth is, from the very start, alam mo naman na hindi ka dapat mag expect eh. But, what can we do, human nature daw, oh di sige, cry ka na lang hanggang mamaga eye bags mo!

Bakit nga ba ang tao ang hilig mag pretend?
Laging sinasabi na okay na sya, when in fact, my heart is still bleeding, ouch!
Most of the time pinipilit ang mga bagay bagay, pati yung healing minamadali.
Can’t you just wait for the wounds to heal naturally, ‘ika nga eh in God’s time.
Lalo tuloy nagiging complicated ang buhay sa kakamadali natin.

Napaisip tuloy ako, lahat nga ba ng sugat pwedeng mag heal? Ang alam ko pag nadapa ka at nagsugat ang tuhod mo, soap and water, agua oxigenada (spell check,pls) plus betadine lang ang katapat. Well kung merong cuts, hmmm ilang stitches kaya ang gagawin ni doc? Pero at least alam mo maghihilom diba? Eh pano kung ang puso mo ang nasugatan? Maghihilom din kaya? Sabi nila time heals all wounds. Pero parang ayaw ko maniwala. Bakit ganun, feeling ko hindi naman. Feeling ko matatakpan lang for a while yung sugat sa puso, pero hindi totally maghihilom. Well, ain’t saying na maniwala ka, sabi ko nga, feeling ko lang naman ito. Kaya ako, iiwasan ko masaktan yung mga taong nandito sa puso ko. Pero bakit ganun, kadalasan, kung sino po yung pinakamalapit sa puso mo sya pa ang nananakit ng sobra sa yo?

Bakit nga ba?

Keeping the Faith this Twenty-O-Nine

Goodbye, 2008. May the good memories of the past year reside in our hearts as long as we live, and, may the forgettable be forgotten but let the lessons learned be an instrument to improve our lives.

My heart broke twice in 2008. I cried a river for that two painful experiences. My heart bled. My life stumbled. I asked so many questions, answers for some I found, others none. Maybe later, maybe tomorrow, maybe never.

I am not in the best shape…yet. I am still in the process of acceptance and healing but I’ll get there, slowly, eventually. I am keeping the faith as I open my door and welcomes 2009.

God bless each of us.

Happy Birthday, Bu!

Tomorrow should have been your 22nd birthday . I did not plan on giving you something, probably money na lang so you can buy what it is you want. Sabi naman ni Ate Weng, she was planning to give you a branded blouse, you liked one daw kasi when were shopping together a few months ago. By the way, Raia had a simple birthday celebration last Sunday, just the way we planned it. She missed you, we missed you. Your daughter was happy, I’m sure even if you’re nowhere in sight you’re in her heart…we greeted her “happy 2nd birthday”, kissed and hugged her for you. We all hope you’re happy.

Bu, you were like my twin sister, only, I was nine years older hehe! Pero we always celebrated our birthdays together. Never did I imagine of having my birthday without you. You were so young…I was looking forward to more and more birthday celebrations with you. We may not be the closest sisters, probably because of the age gap, but I love you no less. I just hope I was able to show or let you feel how much I love you and care for you.

Just a few weeks ago, my heart bled as I sign your death certificate, I should have been signing your birthday card, it was so painful…pero…well, I guess God has other plans…it's just so hard to accept, to understand... I hope you heard me when I whispered words into your ear during your last breaths…Bu, worry no more, we will all take good care of your daughter…Thank you for the life you shared with us. Thank you for bringing Raia into this world. Thank you for being my “twin sister”. I love you, Bu! Happy Birthday. Rest in eternal peace with our God. You are loved. You will surely live in our hearts.

On Marriage

On Marriage
Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Confused mind

When you said you’re sorry,
Did you mean you won’t do it again?
Do I have the reason to be happy?
Or that feeling is too sudden?

How’d I know what’s inside you?
Can I see it through your eyes?
Can I trust the words you threw?
Maybe what I see and hear are lies

What are the things I need to do?
Can you please tell me?
So I can please you
So you may see no one but me

For Jasmin

Every baby is a gift from God,
We believe it’s true
You were especially wrapped for mom and dad
In my womb until your due

The day came unexpectedly
My tummy ached so badly
And even though you were a preemie
Thank God for you were healthy and oh so lovely!

You turned our nights into days, literally
But you also made our sun shine more brightly
The sleepless nights were inevitable
But the joys it brought were unquestionable

Now, it has been a year since you were born
Time flies so fast as if it is being blown
And so with pride and happiness we’ll blow the horn
To signal the start of another milestone

So to you, baby, let us be the first to say
The words that you will hear all throughout this day
Anika Jasmin, happy, happy 1st birthday!
We love you unconditionally everyday!


Dad and Mom

May 10, 2008

To a very special woman

Today is a very important and special day not only for me but for our whole family. March 12 is truly God's blessing to all of us because it marks the day of life of a person whose beauty radiates to everyone she looks at. Her touch gives the ultimate comfort one can ever ask. Her words lift up even the lowest of spirits. Her wisdom is rich and truly enlightening. Her battles in life inspire us to go on, climb and reach our summits. She's no super woman...but she's the hero(ine) in our lives...she's our mother, our nanay. A very caring daughter, supportive sister, trustworthy friend, loving wife, proud mother, happy grand ma ... Happy Birthday, Nanay!!! All the good things in life for you. We love you...